desk

this is where i will spend many upcoming hours
studying for my architectural registration exams

and fine food

At least two wonderful dishes to be had in San Francisco's Japantown.
The yakitori involved some chicken & stuffed mushroom skewers served over an open flame.
The teriyaki, well it is hard to go wrong with teriyaki.

Dessert was to involve a trip to Dessert Creations,
a popular chain restaurant in Hong Kong and Taiwan (cliff? leanne?)
and now with at least one place in SF
Unfortunately they were lacking, for the second time,
their main ingredient....
mango

anybody hungry?

fine dining

a lady i know bought some new dishes

and leaving them on the shelf was just not an option
so she broke out the plates, glasses and flowers
and we dined on the beach
with the golden gate bridge behind us

silence

do you hear me
screaming in my silence
do you hear me
when no words come out

if you listen
you will hear a story
call loudly
in the quiet pulse of my heart

emerging

I've just realized how little I have posted since...

I've been at a loss for what to say.
When my dad died I turned inward...
Perhaps it is a natural reaction to shock.

The last several months have been full of tough decisions, best ever decisions, beginnings, loss, gain and rest. I've lived every minute, and have gained insight into certain parts of my path.

I feel stronger yet weak, trained yet learning, and without lodging my foot too far into my mouth, ready to face whatever comes next.

full spectrum

on one hand there is a birth
celebration, anticipation, dreams

and plenty of dirty diapers...

welcome Kate Autumn Ginter!!!


on the other hand, pending death
heavy hearts, sleepless nights

I don't know the guy

but I understand the sadness

a typical photographers self-portrait

san francisco from alcatraz

calgary, ab

walking the streets of a new city
rain is light but steady
a slight chill in the air

i enter a building
experience the "+15"
and realize i prefer the street

the noise, the fresh air
the people hundled under umbrellas
vs. the quiet raised hallways that join building to building

a garden on the fourth floor of a mall
a falafel place packed from side to side
a bookstore to stop & browse awhile

and of course,
a gracious hostess
to assure me that i am not here alone

made

went hiking on labor day.
my temporary roomie needed to experience some of the beautiful trails
before she left to go back to school...

-------------------------
i finally accepted a job!
that's right, after two and a half months of bumming around
I will once again be employed.

so the next week and a half are purely vacation,
with a quick trip to calgary thrown in there for good measure.

leans back in her chair,
hands behind the head,
and smiles...

choices

taken from alcatraz island at dusk...

-------------
to have a choice is a gift
to make a choice, not always easy

but sometimes the choice is obvious

...so am i still looking for a job
or am i on vacation until my new one starts?

return

back in SF
doing the job search thing
getting compliments on my tan

walking

much has happened in a short while.
in the spirit of discretion I will not say more.

suffice to say i am at home in Manitoba,
spending the summer with family and friends.
the best decision i could have made

still i hope to be back in san francisco soon
to find out what else is in store.

----------------------------------
what do you do when all is shaken.
what do you do when you can't hold on.

beauty surrounds me as does destruction
i must live in the moment or it will be gone.

in the spirit of neo

the matrix will never let you go.
instead it will try to destroy
the very freedom you are looking for.

red

the color of my legs this last week
they are itchy right now
i think they are getting ready to peel

and all the people said...ew

Pismo Beach/ Sand Dunes

Four of us drove down one Friday afternoon a few moons ago. We got there just in time to eat some Mexican food and set up tents in the rain. Saturday, we strolled the beach, picked up some ATV's then flew up and over and around the dunes for a while.


Me in the foreground, Chris in the background, Ann taking the picture, and Liz somewhere out in the dunes. She was trying to first get help because I had managed to stall my ATV and second find us, because quite frankly it is easy to get lost out there. Note for those interested in taking on an ATV: Don't where nylon pants unless you want to take home a souvenier of a melted pant leg...


Pismo Beach...I don't usually think of dressing this way for a trip to the beach. We had just had some good BBQ and were ready to head back to SF

photo thanks to Ann & Chris :)

one month anniversary

a month ago today, my dad died.

biking to work in the morning
I get a call from my oldest brother,
he has never called me from his office.

my grandma, my dad's mom died this past night
she would have been 93 in August.

the last time I spoke with her she said she was ready to go,
she would go to sleep at night and wonder if she would wake up,
this morning she didn't.

his daughter

classic black dress,
open toe shoes with pointy heels sinking into dirt
I ask for a shovel and join my brothers
one, two, at least three full, thrown into the open grave

I am his daughter, what else would I do.

chainsaw spitting chips everywhere
dead trees taken apart piece by piece
I grab chunks larger than I should carry,
I am his daughter

bouncing along on behind a baler
my brothers and I take turns, 10 cents a bale
bend knees, lift, turn and throw
I am his daughter...

I wanted to spend more time with him
I wanted to build something with him
I would walk the streets of San Francisco
and breathe deeply at the smell of wood or fresh cut grass.
It reminded me of him.
I had not longed for home like this in a long time
A short time later he died

... pull up beside the pump
in winter storms and warm summer days
I reach up to see the water fill our tank
I am his daughter

smells of cut wood and drying glue
a skeleton of a desk, waiting for its skin
dinner is ready, but he needs to finish clamping one more piece
I am his daughter

this is how you turn it on
this is how you shift gears
if you forget to drop the blade you won't be cutting grass
I am his daughter

he comes to me, but I am dreaming
it is after his stroke, after his death
but he talks and stands with me
I am his daughter

Dad

Taken a few days before my dad suffered his first stroke.
He is sporting his new SF shirt I just sent him.
He died on April 12th, 06.

Tate walked his first solo steps about a week and a half later.

It would have delighted my dad.

I miss him. I wasn't ready for him to leave.

could it possibly happen twice?

I'm at the campsite, beautiful morning. My fellow camper is peering out of the tent in a sleepy daze. Perfect picture. I grab my camera, fim inserted and all, wind, focus, sna..... no "p" came with that snap. check, make sure I wound the frame all the way. sna..... Hmmm maybe I didn't put the film in properly. open it up, check, all good there, rewind it a bit, make sure the wheel is not jammed. all clear. but still no "p"

The camping story with come shortly, hopefully with some pictures that I will beg off those who came prepared with their DIGITAL!

Dern it. I loved going old school. I'll see what the folks at the camera shop have to say about my 20 some yr old buddy. *sniffle*