could it possibly happen twice?

I'm at the campsite, beautiful morning. My fellow camper is peering out of the tent in a sleepy daze. Perfect picture. I grab my camera, fim inserted and all, wind, focus, sna..... no "p" came with that snap. check, make sure I wound the frame all the way. sna..... Hmmm maybe I didn't put the film in properly. open it up, check, all good there, rewind it a bit, make sure the wheel is not jammed. all clear. but still no "p"

The camping story with come shortly, hopefully with some pictures that I will beg off those who came prepared with their DIGITAL!

Dern it. I loved going old school. I'll see what the folks at the camera shop have to say about my 20 some yr old buddy. *sniffle*

upcoming adventure

This weekend's forecast - 60% chance of rain & thundershowers. What have I agreed to do? Go camping over night and then take on some sand dunes in an ATV. Likelyhood of staying drying - almost zero. Why am I doing it - eh, why not...

...post report to come

It happens to everyone at least once - right?

I decided one day to go down to a part of the city that was filled with people. People distracted by other things so they might not notice me. I had my camera, and I was determined to invade the space of others to capture a piece of their world. A camera pointed at me is somewhat unsettling. So after I had turned the camera on myself for several rolls I thought it justified to now turn it on others. The opportunities were rich. A person eating by a statue of the starving Ghandi, a homeless man lounging with a view of the Bay Bridge, a lady with a fabric flower pot on her head - that's right folks fabric flowers and all (She was spotted all over the city that day). I am happily snapping away, cringing slightly when I snap a picture as someone walks in front of me, or missing the perfect pose when someone moved their hand. And then I reach frame number 38...39...40...obviously something critical was missing in this arrangement.

Lesson learned? Enjoy each moment as it is because you won't be able to take it with you? or maybe it is more simple than that...remember to put the film IN the camera!

distracted

And then there are days like today, where concentration gives way to twirling in the chair, checking my email, getting up for water, getting up to go to the bathroom because I drank so much water, writing emails, posting here and generally thinking about everything but what I am sitting in front of this computer to do.

family

This past weekend was a reconnect with my New York family weekend. Over a period of 3 days, I was able to talk to 3 people I hadn't spoken to for at least 3 years. I talked with a sister, an uncle and a mother.

My sister - as loving & corny as ever. Listening to her talk I could feel the hug that was entirely unique to her.

My uncle - a fireball, and unflinching in speaking words that bring life rather than those that appease the ears.

My mother - knew when something was wrong, even though she had no idea where I was, what was going on or even how to reach me. For over 6 months she has prayed that I would call her.

An amazing woman full of grace & mercy and for those with the eyes to see, an unrelenting warrior. She is familiar with darkness, and the remarkable transformation that comes by chosing to walk and fight through the storms. There is no such thing as impossible or hopeless to her, for she has met them face to face many times and they never had the last word.

To end the weekend encouraged was inevitable. This is the home where I first learned how to walk in a season of darkness, how to see that things are not always what they seem, and how to fight even when it made more sense to give up.

So I continue to walk, seek, and hope for that which was promised years ago, for into my heart which has come undone was breathed a breath of life.

Eve

if he didn't love me
he would give me everything i've ever wanted
and i would never have need of him again

exposed

I walk, yet my legs threaten to give way. I long to sing with joy but only mourning escapes my mouth. I look for truth, but it has become difficult to distinguish it from lies. I beg for mercy yet continue to be assailed on every side. Hope is whispered in my ear but I am sinking. I stand to fight but my assailant is unseen stricking me where I am most vulnerable. Lies pour down and cover me with despair. I ask for eyes to see that which is and that which is not. I turn to find my comrade, the one with the power to fight, also bloodied from battle. He turns to fall upon his sword in belief that he was the one who caused my wounds. As I turn to mine as well I hear mocking laughter in the distance.