red

the color of my legs this last week
they are itchy right now
i think they are getting ready to peel

and all the people said...ew

Pismo Beach/ Sand Dunes

Four of us drove down one Friday afternoon a few moons ago. We got there just in time to eat some Mexican food and set up tents in the rain. Saturday, we strolled the beach, picked up some ATV's then flew up and over and around the dunes for a while.


Me in the foreground, Chris in the background, Ann taking the picture, and Liz somewhere out in the dunes. She was trying to first get help because I had managed to stall my ATV and second find us, because quite frankly it is easy to get lost out there. Note for those interested in taking on an ATV: Don't where nylon pants unless you want to take home a souvenier of a melted pant leg...


Pismo Beach...I don't usually think of dressing this way for a trip to the beach. We had just had some good BBQ and were ready to head back to SF

photo thanks to Ann & Chris :)

one month anniversary

a month ago today, my dad died.

biking to work in the morning
I get a call from my oldest brother,
he has never called me from his office.

my grandma, my dad's mom died this past night
she would have been 93 in August.

the last time I spoke with her she said she was ready to go,
she would go to sleep at night and wonder if she would wake up,
this morning she didn't.

his daughter

classic black dress,
open toe shoes with pointy heels sinking into dirt
I ask for a shovel and join my brothers
one, two, at least three full, thrown into the open grave

I am his daughter, what else would I do.

chainsaw spitting chips everywhere
dead trees taken apart piece by piece
I grab chunks larger than I should carry,
I am his daughter

bouncing along on behind a baler
my brothers and I take turns, 10 cents a bale
bend knees, lift, turn and throw
I am his daughter...

I wanted to spend more time with him
I wanted to build something with him
I would walk the streets of San Francisco
and breathe deeply at the smell of wood or fresh cut grass.
It reminded me of him.
I had not longed for home like this in a long time
A short time later he died

... pull up beside the pump
in winter storms and warm summer days
I reach up to see the water fill our tank
I am his daughter

smells of cut wood and drying glue
a skeleton of a desk, waiting for its skin
dinner is ready, but he needs to finish clamping one more piece
I am his daughter

this is how you turn it on
this is how you shift gears
if you forget to drop the blade you won't be cutting grass
I am his daughter

he comes to me, but I am dreaming
it is after his stroke, after his death
but he talks and stands with me
I am his daughter

Dad

Taken a few days before my dad suffered his first stroke.
He is sporting his new SF shirt I just sent him.
He died on April 12th, 06.

Tate walked his first solo steps about a week and a half later.

It would have delighted my dad.

I miss him. I wasn't ready for him to leave.